just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
