Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
