the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
