It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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