It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
