You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
