Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
