her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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