Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
