I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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