And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
