I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize