Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...

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  (843): ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now... http://tfl.nu/ndt5
  Replies (15) Good night (2241) Bad night (911)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

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  (651): All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!" http://tfl.nu/l7i0
  Replies (6) Good night (5788) Bad night (1211)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.

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  (515): Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/mtdi
  Replies (6) Good night (3112) Bad night (741)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass

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  (403): I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass http://tfl.nu/mda2
  Replies (17) Good night (3055) Bad night (2575)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.

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  (703): Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night. http://tfl.nu/f2qw
  Replies (8) Good night (3650) Bad night (960)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.

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  (519): Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club. http://tfl.nu/af62
  Replies (5) Good night (3023) Bad night (1238)
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  (760): View more from California

  He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?

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  (760): He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite? http://tfl.nu/b780
  Replies (6) Good night (3257) Bad night (897)
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  (510): View more from California

  He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?

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  (510): He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing? http://tfl.nu/wg1w
  Replies (1) Good night (1668) Bad night (735)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  where the hell would u of bought a deer

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  (717): found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it (1-717): where the hell would u of bought a deer http://tfl.nu/semf
  Replies (9) Good night (2848) Bad night (776)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"

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  (302): She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!" http://tfl.nu/kmdw
  Replies (6) Good night (2493) Bad night (810)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.

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  (901): She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab. http://tfl.nu/iean
  Replies (6) Good night (2418) Bad night (752)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background

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  (403): we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background http://tfl.nu/seul
  Replies (10) Good night (2255) Bad night (674)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.

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  (215): I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang. http://tfl.nu/znwa
  Replies (9) Good night (2289) Bad night (438)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life

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  (719): I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life http://tfl.nu/rr8c
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (431)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day

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  (609): There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day http://tfl.nu/0xn9
  Replies (6) Good night (240) Bad night (807)

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