But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
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It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point