Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.