You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.