Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
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I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We have started to decorate penises.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.