I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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