Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  If I go to jail what happens to my debt?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  You dont have to pay it.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to jail.

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  (908): If I go to jail what happens to my debt? (1-908): You dont have to pay it. (908): I'm going to jail. http://tfl.nu/9by4
  Replies (2) Good night (1584) Bad night (584)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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  (850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. http://tfl.nu/15bf
  Replies (74) Good night (17822) Bad night (1573)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you Grey Goose.

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  (703): By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out. (703): Thank you Grey Goose. http://tfl.nu/neos
  Replies (18) Good night (839) Bad night (2317)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.

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  (250): i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting. http://tfl.nu/gwdw
  Replies (16) Good night (3454) Bad night (848)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better

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  (508): as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better http://tfl.nu/9gj2
  Replies (21) Good night (5238) Bad night (1161)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (185) Good night (52788) Bad night (2722)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.

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  (920): He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start. http://tfl.nu/5fft
  Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (2841)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.

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  (706): I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries. http://tfl.nu/bagw
  Replies (2) Good night (1649) Bad night (886)
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  (845): View more from New York

  It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?

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  (845): It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship? http://tfl.nu/kgkd
  Replies (5) Good night (1247) Bad night (592)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki

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  (250): I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki http://tfl.nu/rhok
  Replies (14) Good night (2974) Bad night (1132)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.

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  (843): Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend. http://tfl.nu/a6e8
  Replies (5) Good night (1384) Bad night (512)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties

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  (419): don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties http://tfl.nu/ivn3
  Replies (2) Good night (1480) Bad night (531)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?

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  (506): HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!? http://tfl.nu/h0ub
  Replies (9) Good night (1139) Bad night (660)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?

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  (412): What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it? http://tfl.nu/fsay
  Replies (9) Good night (573) Bad night (358)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.

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  (908): She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters. http://tfl.nu/dcrj
  Replies (4) Good night (315) Bad night (289)

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