Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
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We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
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I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.