Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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