Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
