those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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