shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
