dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
