Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
