ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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