Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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