I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
