Non-Jews are for practice
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
