You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
