I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
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and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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