her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
