I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
