Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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