So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
