it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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