dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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