I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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