Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
