I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
