if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
