Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
