She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
