so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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