oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
