God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
