I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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