nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...