I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
Barsexuality is the new black.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?