so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
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how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.