I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across