capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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