Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
