why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
