Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
