So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
