Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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