I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
