marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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