One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
