There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
