is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My dick has a subreddit
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
