So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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