Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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