a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
