For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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