you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
