Me too!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
