yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize