i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you have feelings for this penis?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize