i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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