yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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