apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Randomize
