Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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