I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
