i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
