i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
